Ladies, let’s talk openly for a few minutes.  Think back to when you were dating your husband.  Then think about that first year you had after you were married but before you had kids.  

Now think about the last few years.  What’s different?  Without knowing you, I can probably guess correctly that there’s a lack of intimacy now versus your first few years together.  If I guessed right, don’t fret, ladies.  This is an easy thing to fix, and your husband will love your attempts.  Keep reading for some tips to add the intimacy back to your marriage and an easy DIY massage bar recipe.  

DIY Massage Bar Recipe

Flirt

Do you remember when you met your husband for the first time?  I do.  I remember trying to get his attention because I was too shy to approach him first.  I smiled at him, and when he would smile back, I looked away.  He used to come to the restaurant that I worked at, so I would walk by him whenever I could so he would notice me.  When we did start talking, I smiled and laughed a lot.  I also complimented him and let him know I liked his shirt or taste in music.  I hate to admit that after we got married and had a few kids, we stopped flirting.  Take yourself back to those days and tell him that his shirt makes his eyes look good or that you love the jeans he’s wearing.

Companionship

How often do you spend time alone with your husband?  Him on the couch watching TV while you are on your laptop in the chair doesn’t count.  Let your husband know that he’s a priority by making time for him.  If weekly dates aren’t in your budget or you don’t have a sitter, then get creative.  Feed the kids early and let them watch a movie while you and your husband eat a nicer meal at home.  If you do watch TV together, cuddle on the couch together.  Do things that both of you enjoy and share experiences with each other.  

Communicate

Schedule 15 to 20 minutes of uninterrupted time to talk each day.  On the weekends, give yourselves at least an hour of time to talk about your week or problems in your lives.  If possible, take weekend trip together every two or three months to talk and reconnect.  

Touch

Few things will increase intimacy more than touching your partner.  When you walk by him in the kitchen, give him a little hug or brush up against him.  Give him a hug and kiss when one of you leaves or comes home.  

Massage Bar Recipe

What You Need

• 1 ounce shea butter
• 1 ounce beeswax
• 1 ounce oil (I used grapeseed oil because it’s not greasy, but olive oil can also be used)
• Massage bar mold

Directions

STEP #1

Measure one ounce of shea butter and one ounce of beeswax by weight and place in a glass bowl.

STEP #2

Melt in the microwave at 30 second intervals until melted.  Stir at each interval. If there are small pieces of beeswax left unmelted, you can usually stir it until it’s melted.  Be sure to use a hot pad when you touch the glass.  

STEP #3

Meanwhile, measure one ounce of your oil by weight.  When the shea butter and beeswax are melted, add the oil and stir.

STEP #4

Pour into a massage bar mold.

STEP #5

Let sit until completely cooled.

I used a massage bar mold with nubs on the bottom, but you could use a flat bottomed mold.  It will be a solid bar, but it melts from body heat.  

Also check out my relaxing massage oil recipe.